If

If

by Rudyard Kipling
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

Farewell to a Jealous Lover

By John M. Willis

VA Medical Center-North Little Rock, AR

Veterans’ Voice, Fall 1997

I know you don’t believe me when I say it’s over. Even now, after two years, you expect me to turn to you when I am lonely, or feeling depressed, but I swear I will never again embrace you. I will not turn my life over to you; no matter what the future brings I will face it without you.

At first it seemed strange living without you. I remember been together so long—thirty-some years. I remember when we first met. I was in the Navy, young, proud, impressionable and resplendent in my dress uniform. You were mysterious and alluring. I did not think that a little harmless flirtation would hurt anyone, and in the beginning, it didn’t.

For a short while we had an off and on affair. Then I tried to leave you for someone else, but you would not let any woman take your place in my life. It was only then that I realized your power, and the control you had over me. For year you influenced everything I did. The jobs I held or lost, the relationships I formed were all subject to your whims. You alienated me from my family, and everyone who threatened your hold on me. Finally, you began to alienate me from life itself.

                I could no longer live with you, and I could not imaging living without you- I was not strong enough. I began thinking that death was the only answer, then when my life seemed at its worst and my future its darkest, I met a woman who told me there was another way, but I could not do it alone.

              She told me there were people who wanted to help me, and they could show me how to break away from your deadly embrace. All I had to do was be humble enough to admit that you were in control of my life and ask for help.

            It wasn’t easy. You were always there waiting for me. Thoughts for you constantly ran through my mind. After being free from you a few days, you once again seemed attractive. I didn’t remember the bad times, I only remembered how you made me feel when our relationship was young, but my new friends helped me through those difficult times until I could see you realistically.

              I know you will never be far from me. You’ll always be there to take me back and claim my soul once again if I do not keep you at bay, day by day, but I do not have to do it alone. I have a Higher Power and friend to help me.

            Now, my jealous lover, with this all said, I bid you farewell, Drug Addiction.

P.S I hope I did not break any laws. I read this essay and I typed it again on word and share it with you. I hope you back me up in court.

Mourn the Dead

How we mourn the dead has ritual and when we remember the dead still with a lot of respect. One of the things I encountered at my class here in America tells a different story.        

            Our teacher, as she told us once, enjoyed a “dark humor”. My classmates has fully understood this and also engaged with her. Our teacher was recalling the death of her grandpa in relation to topic of the day, and she was saying, “he was a drunk and also patient of cancer” She goes on telling us how he never stopped drinking even after diagnosed with cancer. All of us were listening with attention. Ironically, “he died of car accident on his way to a library to return his books, and of all days on that particular day he never had drink.”

            Our teacher looking to the ceiling, “I really miss him guys”. Partly when she told us the story, she told it with tone of exaggeration and excitement but not like any one grieving from the past. I think one of the student notices this and said, “at least he managed to finish his books.” I was shrinking with embarrassment. The teacher was smiling and some of the students too.

            We start remembering our deceased relatives saying, “GOD blesses his soul-nefsun yemarewena”. The listener would be listening with intent and using that moment to show that he is sharing the loss, as if it happened recently than years ago. I recall the third day after funeral that is seleste, the day which relatives mourn the loss afresh with tears and loud cries. That is cultural difference. I value that community groups-edir that we form in cases of such loss so that person would find comfort with presence of them. I am not saying the whole idea is crystal pure but I like the sense of unity and togetherness in the community it brings though we mourn a lot. What do you think?