Mourn the Dead

How we mourn the dead has ritual and when we remember the dead still with a lot of respect. One of the things I encountered at my class here in America tells a different story.        

            Our teacher, as she told us once, enjoyed a “dark humor”. My classmates has fully understood this and also engaged with her. Our teacher was recalling the death of her grandpa in relation to topic of the day, and she was saying, “he was a drunk and also patient of cancer” She goes on telling us how he never stopped drinking even after diagnosed with cancer. All of us were listening with attention. Ironically, “he died of car accident on his way to a library to return his books, and of all days on that particular day he never had drink.”

            Our teacher looking to the ceiling, “I really miss him guys”. Partly when she told us the story, she told it with tone of exaggeration and excitement but not like any one grieving from the past. I think one of the student notices this and said, “at least he managed to finish his books.” I was shrinking with embarrassment. The teacher was smiling and some of the students too.

            We start remembering our deceased relatives saying, “GOD blesses his soul-nefsun yemarewena”. The listener would be listening with intent and using that moment to show that he is sharing the loss, as if it happened recently than years ago. I recall the third day after funeral that is seleste, the day which relatives mourn the loss afresh with tears and loud cries. That is cultural difference. I value that community groups-edir that we form in cases of such loss so that person would find comfort with presence of them. I am not saying the whole idea is crystal pure but I like the sense of unity and togetherness in the community it brings though we mourn a lot. What do you think?